My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I cannot find my penis.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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