also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I have aggressive nipples.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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