Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize