the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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