I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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