I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
