Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My cat gives me a boner
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize