We named our party play list daddy issues
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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