omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
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