he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize