I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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