you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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