the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
and you fell through a lawn chair
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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