i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
