Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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