We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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