Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
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