i just had sex bonerless
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
