Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Randomize
