How'd it feel making her break her religion?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize