I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
