Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it hurts more in the daytime
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
areolas are like halos for boobs.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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