escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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