real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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