hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
