I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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