Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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