every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize