Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
