Little spoons don't ask big questions
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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