just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I party with great urgency now.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
