so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
