Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
