I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
His nipple licking is glorious
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