Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
