Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we made out on top of his cat.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
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