If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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