Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
