My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
