oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
