i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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