the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
