Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
