four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
