Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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