I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
