ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
