Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
