gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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