Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
