she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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