Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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