Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
