I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
