The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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