There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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