ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
