Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
